DEAR Jasminda,
I am going away with a group of school friends and we are sharing rooms.
To save money, we booked a room with two queen beds, but one of our group members has become an incessant snorer. I’m a light sleeper.
How do I tactfully ask that she is not my bed companion for the weekend?
Debra F.
Dear Debra,
When a partner snores, it is totally acceptable to poke them and tell them to be quiet, or stomp down the hall to the spare bed, or wake them in the morning to the soaring vocals of Donna Summer singing State of Independence because you’ve had no sleep and you’re feeling vengeful.
However, those tactics are not ideal when you’re catching up with old friends.
A snorer is like a dripping tap or a ticking clock.
Once the snoring starts, a light sleeper will be on the alert, wide-eyed in anticipation of the next snorting eruption.
It’s a form of torture.
The longer it goes on, the more desperate the situation becomes as the hours before morning pass as slowly as baggage check-in when you’re about to miss your flight.
For the next trip you have to come fully prepared with your good-night’s sleep arsenal: noise cancelling headphones or earplugs, an eye mask, some chamomile tea bags and/or something stronger (I don’t like to judge, Debra).
You could also customise your response to the sleeping arrangements that come up on the first night.
If the snorer is near the window, request the bed near the bathroom.
If the snorer likes lots of bedding, say you are a night-sweater.
If the snorer likes their own space, confess that you have been known to spoon your bed partner in your sleep, and you’d hate to be accidentally invasive during your dream about Timothee Chalamet and/or Brad Pitt and/or Ryan Gosling and/or Margot Robbie.
Then again, if you are school friends, you probably know so much about each other that you don’t really need to be tactful. That’s what’s great about long-term friendships.
Just say, ‘Cindy, I adore you, but you snore like a freight train that’s collided with a donkey. Do you mind if you share your bed with Giselle? She’s out like a light every night due to her propensity for expensive red wine and hash gummies.’
That should make things clear for everyone.
Carpe diem,
Jasminda.
